It’s Friday, the end of my week, and I thought, You know, Phe…let’s end this week on a light note. To that end, I thought I would share one of my many Life Blooper Reels with you because, let’s face it, that archive is getting full.
So, among my friends it’s no secret that I like to batch cook my lunches for the work week – and I really like to try healthy(-ier) recipes. Pinterest has been my go to source for new recipes for a while now, but it’s also fairly well known that no recipe survives initial contact with me. I am, when all is said and done, a fairly decent cook. I tend to tweak recipes to make them “better”, and usually, I just use them as general guidelines though when I’m cooking gluten-free foods, I tend to follow them to the letter. (Full Disclaimer – I am not a Celiac sufferer and don’t often go down the GF road however, I have found that when making healthier snacks, eliminating flour and processed sugars, including coconut sugar, makes for a still satisfying, much better for you snack.)
Of course, even following certain recipes to the letter is never a guarantee of success, as anyone who remembers the Saga of the Sadness Muffins can tell you…but, tonight, we’re not talking about the Sadness Muffins. We’re still trying to suppress that memory a year later…
Tonight, we’re talking about last week’s lunch. Last week, I was feeling very autumnal and decided that I was going to try a variant of Averie Cooks‘ Maple Roasted Butternut Squash Quinoa Harvest Salad. I mean, click that link. Look at it. That image is a beautiful one, isn’t it? All colorful and tasty looking!
Well, I wish now that I had taken pictures of my own because that image there? It’s Averie’s, not mine. And mine…mine didn’t look quite like that. It may have been because I cut the squash too small…and only used half of one whole squash because I thought that the whole squash would be too much. Right off the bat, I forgot the Fundamental Law of Squash Cookery which states: Squash shrinks when cooked, you eejit.
With half a squash, but a whole portion of quinoa, it turned out a bit more like a misguided attempt at a hot breakfast cereal than anything. It was not in the least bit lovely (unless a vaguely orangey-tan container of mush appeals to you), even with the addition of the pecans and cranberries. But dammit, it tasted…nice? OK, it got better as the week went on and I discovered that slathering a pita bread with goat cheese and making a sandwich out of the whole lot was far more enjoyable, or at least, passable way to eat it than straight from the bowl.
Who am I kidding. It was a long week of lunches, one I was glad to see the backside of.
That all being said, I did bring my boyfriend a container for his lunch on day one of last week. I didn’t think he’d like it much (I was right) but what I didn’t know until this past Tuesday when we finally addressed this rather uncharacteristic Kitchen Fail of mine, was that he tried to eat about half then gave up. He decided to bring the rest of it to a resident groundhog they have outside his building and left my hard work at the burrow’s entrance. Seriously, he fed it to the groundhog.
What happened next…well…he claims that the groundhog did emerge from the burrow, and I believe that. Where we work is rife with the furry beasts and they’re not at all afraid of people, especially since it’s gotten around the burrows that people think they’re cute and, to the eternal frustration of our pest management specialists, those people do feed them.
But I digress. So, Scout (as I’ve named him) emerged from the burrow. Apparently, he sniffed at it and then began to bat it about as though it were a toy. After sniffing at it and playing with it for a while, he pushed it away from the burrow’s entrance and returned to his warren doing…whatever it is that groundhogs do underground. Dig? Sleep? Make more groundhogs? Only they know.
And that, my friends, is the story of how what could have been a perfectly delicious week of lunches turned a bit sad, and also the day my cookery got rejected by a damn groundhog. Just remember that the next time one of your culinary creations doesn’t turn out quite as intended. At least it wasn’t rejected by a groundhog.
With that, I’ll say – Happy weekending and stay shiny, my friends.